Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Marriage and Divorce...The Real Truth

Matt.5:31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
32. but I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

1Cor.7:10 And unto the married, I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband.
11. But and if she depart, LET HER REMAIN UNMARRIED, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

Mark.10:11 And He saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
12. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and marrieth another, she committeth adultery.

Mark.10:9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Nothing could be plainer than these statements. Anyone who divorces and remarries committeth adultery by doing so, for Jesus DOES NOT authorize the DIVORCE. Once married, ALWAYS MARRIED: till death do you part. This is EXACTLY how Jesus Christ sees it, and describes it.

1Cor.7:12 But to the rest, speak I, not the Lord: if any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
13. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

Once again, there is NO PERMISSION to either get divorced AND remarried in any of this. Paul simply states that if the UNBELIEVER wants to go, you may let them go. The one who is left is still divorced, and whosoever shall marry her (or him) that is divorced COMMITTETH ADULTERY. Paul takes this fact; that marriage is BINDING as long as both partners shall live SO MUCH FOR GRANTED, that he uses it as an illustration of the permanency of the Law over a man until that man has realized and embraced the full significance of the death and resurrection of Christ:

Rom.7:1 Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law), how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth?
2. For the woman that hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
3. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
4. Wherefore my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to Him who is raised from the dead, that ye should bring forth fruit unto God.

1Cor.7:39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; but only in the Lord.


Okay, I know that this is going to be a tough subject. Marriage and Divorce... This is something I never really dug real deep into the scriptures about until recently. I was raised in a Christian home, so I always knew in my heart that God does not take marriage lightly. I knew it was a covenant in His sight. I knew that when you marry someone you are making a vow, that it is supposed to be forever. These beliefs are what kept me from walking out on my marriage years ago when the going got tough. Of course "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence". My husband and I "made it" through the rough spot because we turned to God. We let Him fix our marriage. He took what was a "mess" and has made it into something beautiful. Aside from "knowing" all of these things about the sacredness of marriage and its importance to God, I wanted to know what does the Bible really say. Not what does the preacher say or what does the "church" say, but what does God say?

The above scriptures say a lot. They say a lot more than what is being taught. After reading these scriptures one should ask, "Why are churches and pastors marrying people who have been previously divorced?" It plainly says, "Mark.10:11 And He saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. 12. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and marrieth another, she committeth adultery." I didn't make it up. That is what the Word of God says. If you are divorced and the person you divorced is still alive, to remarry is to commit adultery.

1Cor.7:39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; but only in the Lord.

How have WE foreshortened marriage? By not AGREEING WITH and TEACHING the SAME THINGS The Bible says about the conduct of marriage and sexual sin; we have UNDERMINED the PERMANENCE of marriage. We make EXCUSES for divorce that The Bible does not give; we make REASONS to justify both DIVORCE and REMARRIAGE in flat out contradiction to Jesus Christ, Who said: Whosoever shall marry her (or him) that is divorced, committeth ADULTERY (Matt. 5:32).

Who among you will now show me how I have misrepresented what the Bible says about these things?

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6 comments:

Stan said...

I always held that there was a "zero tolerance policy" in Scripture on the subject of divorce. I had to change that. So I shifted to a "zero tolerance policy" in Scripture on the subject of remarriage. (It is, after all, only remarriage that qualifies as adultery.)

I still lean that way, but can't hold it strongly anymore once I came across this: "Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you should marry, you have not sinned" (1 Cor 7:27-28). I can't seem to make any sense of "If you should marry you nave not sinned" in terms of "Are you released from a wife" except in terms of divorce.

Becky said...

Stan,
At this point in scripture Paul was saying that it would be better to remain single, but if you do marry it is not a sin. There is another scripture that talks about how it is better to marry than to burn with desire, this goes along the same lines.
The part about being released, but not seeking goes back to the, "if you are divorced you should not remarry unless your spouse is deceased". This shows that marriage really is a lifetime commitment to God. Hence, "till death do us part." Marriage is a covenant in God's eyes. Covenants should not be broken.

Stan said...

There are a couple of problems here, Becky.

First, a widow or widower is not "released" -- they are no longer married in any sense of the word. No one could possibly (or ever did) argue that they could not remarry. Indeed, Paul's use of the term "released" is in the context of the earlier spouse whose unbelieving spouse left them.

Second, if divorce is always a sin, then God is a sinner since He says He divorced Israel. Big problem.

Third, marriage is indeed a covenant and absolutely covenants should not be broken. However, covenants have conditions. "If you do x, I will do y." When the other party of the covenant has broken their side of it, the covenant isn't "sort of" broken -- it's broken. If you, for instance, sign an agreement with a company to pay them $500 to deliver a product and they don't deliver, the covenant is broken and you don't have to pay.

I think it should never be a Christian option to divorce. If anyone asks me, I say, "No, don't do it, no way, not by any means, don't!!!" That being said, I cannot categorically classify divorce or remarriage as sin in every case. That just doesn't work biblically.

Becky said...

Stan,
If you would please read this excerpt from a study I did on marriage, it helps to explain things. In the old testament, to be betrothed or engaged was considered just like marriage, the only reason for not marrying was if the woman or man lost their virginity before marriage. This is seen when the Bible talks about Joseph"putting away" Mary. They were nmot yet married, had not yet had sex, but if she had in fact not been a virgin, Joseph had every right to "put her away" or not marry her. But as we all know the rest of the story, she was still a virgin. Anyway, enjoy the reading and I hope it helps. The "If you should marry you nave not sinned", makes sense after reading this..

Matt.19:8 And Jesus said unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
9. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
In no other place where Jesus discusses divorce does He ever present any "exceptions": but always asserts that if either of the divorced persons remarry, they commit adultery by doing so (Mark 10:11-12). The only way that except it be for fornication can be read in harmony with EVERYTHING ELSE that Jesus and the Apostles said about it, is to see that the reference is to the discovery that your 'fiance' is not a virgin before you actually come together. The word fornication describes sexual sin that does not explicitly violate a vow of marriage. In the Old Testament, people who were engaged were regarded as married until or unless the engagement was broken off.
Matt.1:18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.
19. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privately.
Joseph is here called the husband of Mary before they came together, and, to put her way means to divorce her. Here, Joseph is considering whether or not to DIVORCE his FIANCEE. In other words, you may break off your engagement before you come together, and marry another, without committing adultery.

The Bible NEVER gives us a "definition" for MARRIAGE. Everything it has to say about marriage PRESUMES that MARRIAGE is UNDERSTOOD. The 7th Commandment; which says, Thou shalt not commit adultery (Exodus 20:14), presumes that both MARRIAGE and ADULTERY are UNDERSTOOD.
The marriage of Isaac in Genesis 24 illustrates this PROMISE BY IMPLICATION in the consent to sexual intimacy. There is NO engagement, NO courtship, NO ceremony; but when Isaac brought her into his mothers tent, and took Rebekah. . .she became his wife (Genesis 24:67).

Mark.10:9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
First of all, let us have it understood that there is no such thing as pledge of marriage that God does not affirm. Nowhere in the New Testament can you find a reference to a marriage that God hath not joined together. And, I am NOT going to review the Mosaic laws on divorce; as if it were in ANY WAY necessary that I account for them, or explain them. The Law of Moses allowed for divorce, but it also allowed for polygamy: and when Jesus was asked about these Mosaic permissions, His answer was, What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder; thereby REJECTING the Mosaic permission. His disciples, like many people today, were shocked at this, and they asked Him again of the same matter (10:10).
Mark.10:11 And He saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
12. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and marrieth another, she committeth adultery.

In the Bible to "come together" was to have sex and in God's eyes you are married if you have sex, because marriage is the only time God allows sex. It is man that has turned sex in to something else, in to something that is okay to do with more than one person or strictly for pleasure. That was not what God intended.

Becky said...

"28 But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble[17][Lit tribulation in the flesh ] in this life, and I am trying to spare you.
29 But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none;
30 and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess;
31 and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this world is passing away.
32 But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord;
33 but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife,
34 and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
35 This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to[18][Lit for what is seemly ] promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord." ---1 COR


Stan,
If you read this entire text it showas that paul was saying that it is better to remain single and devoted to serving the Lord, but if you can't then it is not a sin to marry. Further down from "you have not sinned" it talks about how those who are not married can be devoted to God.
Paul chose to remain single to be devoted to God,he was telling the Corinthians in the letter how it is great if you can remain single. He told them if they had a wife, don't seek to get rid of them, if they didn't don't seek one out, that it is better top remain single, but if they did marry it was not a sin.

1Cor.7:9 But if they cannot contain (control themselves), let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn(with uncontrollable desire).
Celibacy is the superior condition from which to serve The Lord, and this is plainly stated: It is good for a man not to touch a woman (1 Cor. 7:1). Chastity and virginity are both HIGHLY praised in the Bible. There is no suggestion here that God "frowns" on intimate relations between a husband and his wife. It is a strictly practical matter; that those who are married become automatically more ENTRENCHED into obligations to the world around them (1 Cor. 7:32-35).
Heb.13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
There is NO REASON to believe that God "dislikes" or is in any way embarrassed by sanctified sexuality. God made it this way in the beginning, when He commanded Adam and Eve to be fruitful, and multiply (Gen. 1:28). God has made RULES for intimate relations, and those who violate those rules are sinning.

Hope this helps! God Bless!

Becky said...

"Second, if divorce is always a sin, then God is a sinner since He says He divorced Israel. Big problem."
(from your comment)

There was reasons where divorce was allowed in the Old Testament, under the Mosaic law, but Jesus made it clear that that had changed, we are not under the Law

"The Law of Moses allowed for divorce, but it also allowed for polygamy: and when Jesus was asked about these Mosaic permissions, His answer was, What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder; thereby REJECTING theMosaic permission. His disciples, like many people today, were shocked at this, and they asked Him again of the same matter (10:10).
Mark.10:11 And He saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
12. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and marrieth another, she committeth adultery."